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whore of dispair

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I don't know what to do, I have no reason... [04 Apr 2004|12:12pm]
[ mood | determined ]

Bobby,
this feeling of negelect, the feeling of lonliness. These feelings were not brought upon me by you. If anything you kept them away longer. I am just lost in the world of fake illusions. I am just remembering how life used to be, Happy and all together. and Now I am happy but I miss the other half. theres just a mere hole in my center. Its not that huge, and you have filled the hole from when i was depressed with love. but now Its the other side of the cicrle. Its the side where nothing can fill. Its just the mere visions of "home". I need to get closer to it... That is all


6 days till Wisconsin.... I will be gone for oh 6 days.

Today I am attending a family function. This will be an intresting occurance. We will see what the day brings upon me.
I wonder what the day will lay out for me.

I will not see Bobby next weekend, either.
I will be calling him from the state next.
Aswell as Arielle.



I love you both very much. and I dont want you guys "Down" on my behalf.

Over dose .:. 13 Pill's taken

When your gone, Do You feel? [04 Apr 2004|01:34am]
[ mood | determined ]

I feel as if I'm Losing. Losing the life that I need to live. I enbark on the adventures that I miss. I create illusions of how happiness once was close by. But I'm losing. I can't seem to see the 'Me' in my new atmosphere. I can't find 'you' in the touch of their smiles. It's all so sareal, on how life can change so drasticly in an instant. It's almost so unwillingly-rotten to see how much they all die away so quickly. When we once were so together secured with a knot. An Untied friendship. A will that won't be broken. I miss it. Do they miss it? All the chaos we all used to create. The insane persuasions we used to take part in. We actually "Lived life to the Fulliest". We saw,We did, We belieived. We believed in each other. And now I'm Lost. And I am losing. I am losing a great deal of purity in my smile. As the days slowly creep by. As I am longing to be back there. Back on the streets of Normalacy. I think of you. And I can't seem to fit. I don't fit in there. My new enviroment. It's not what I am used to. It's not what I want to grow up to be in. To be like. It's almost a fake-community. Non-exsitant. They're all losing aswell. I'm losing, I can't seem to dwell on my new surrondings; but I sit and group and glue all the broken memories back into a portiat. One of those photos that will not fade to color. it's almost like a puzzle. I am still lost. I'm losing. You're lost in the world of another. This world is not mine, I do not belong. I just showed up, and I am trying. The world of my history. The past that has not yet been forgotten. I need it to survive. I am not dear selfish in anyway. I do not want to leave them living a life of lies. I do not want to lose anymore! I Don't need this extra burden of anxiety set upon me. "how to act", "How to speak when spoken to by the worst one of them all". I don't want it! The new creation, the creation I call " The new Me". I'm Losing, I am lost, Find me...I am Losing, are you losing. I'm lost. Im lost...

-Me

I sit
With the cold breeze
All over my body.
The faint glow
of the flaming candel
beneath my finding face
My thinking eyes
My gazing Mind
Im thinking
Im thinking of the old
And I try to Blend
The new and old together
And I cant seem to get it
quite right.
Some pieces are missing.
It died
Along Beside my...Childhood.
And Im going there...

-Me


What is in your heart??


What are you always thinking?


Is There is a place to be afraid?


What thinking takes part in selfishness?

Look into your heart?

What am I doing?
Here?
Honestly?
Thinking....

Forget it.

Over dose .:. 4 Pill's taken

I'm Scared of the changing of the shadow...... [03 Apr 2004|01:57pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I Smile
You Smile
I laugh
You Smile
I stab my ego
I Smile?
You Smile
I cry for you
I Smile?
You Smile
I love you
You Smile
I Erase myself from Excistance
You Smile
I Smile
I'm Fucked
I Smile
You Smile
I'm Lost
I Smile?
You Smile
Im alone
You smile
I'm depressed
You Smile
I Smile?
I'm Insane
You Smile
I Smile
I'm leaving you
I'm gone
SO long
You Smile
I Smile
I died for you
You Smile
I Smiled
You Smile...
-Sam

This Shitty collection of words, sums up to be a lesson, on how so many people do so much for that "other"/"others" and then the "others" Just take plain Advantage of it. Of them, and their presence in the "others" life/ Make sence?


"Sorry for being me"
I'm Sorry for being me
I'm Sorry you can't accept it
I'm sorry you think the way you do

But just because you want me to change
Dosen't mean I'm going to
I can't change who I am
Just to Please you

If you don't ike it
I'ts not my fault
I never asked you to

One day You'll learn
I was right all along

But for now
All I can say now is....
I'm sorry for being me
-Charlene Camp (A.B.H.S)


hide me in a corner, Lock me away
Turn your back on me just alittle more each day
Pretend you don't hear my shouts and screams
That my begging for mercy dosen't haunt your dreams

Leave me in solitude until I can take no more
Crying and screaming as my throat becomes sore
Ignore the pounding and screaming as I try to break
Loose
All in vain of course; there isn't any use

Keep me here until my spirits are shattered
Even my body is broken and battered
Don't end it now, I'm here for your entertainment
You can torture me daily while I live in containment.

-Anonymous
(A.B.H.S.)

(Just me o'le friends)


XxmorirexX: thanks
Juicebox1489: yoiur welcome...who r u?
XxmorirexX: Im sam
Juicebox1489: oh
Juicebox1489: your welcome
Juicebox1489: i think...
XxmorirexX: I felt like shit on wensday...thanks...we used to be great friends. and now we arent nothing, and will never be nothing any more, You cant seemto be my friend because IM so "EXTREME" now.. I thought u were diffrent jesse. I did..
Juicebox1489: hmmm
XxmorirexX: Im sorry im so fucked up now
Juicebox1489: hey thats ur thing
Juicebox1489: its cool with me
Juicebox1489: :-D
XxmorirexX: well..you kept asking me questions and giving me the third degree. You were making fun of me...
XxmorirexX: And it wasnt cool
Juicebox1489: ok
Juicebox1489: i wasnt making fun of u
XxmorirexX: it was what is seemed to be
Juicebox1489: i hadnt seen or talked to u in like a year
Juicebox1489: it was alot to take in
XxmorirexX: yeah
XxmorirexX: yeah I guess
XxmorirexX: Im still SAM
Juicebox1489: sory if i offended you
XxmorirexX: obnoxious and Loud
Juicebox1489: lol
XxmorirexX: Well I was just all mad and stuff.. because we used to be like best friends and all and then we lost touch becaause of my movement and then when I finally see u again, I was excited. I missed you, it was all the shit u stated. And in the tone of voice maybe. ...or maybe IM just parniod and I wasnt thinking.. I was just thinking of how everyone else was making fun of me. But IM still sam and thats all I need to redeem my self to you guys
XxmorirexX: later
Juicebox1489: well said
Juicebox1489: lol
Juicebox1489: i didnt meen what ever i said
XxmorirexX: Alright
Juicebox1489: picture this
Juicebox1489: ..
Juicebox1489: we are pretty much best friends and i have this image of you in my head and then....ur gone for a while u come back and ur way differant
Juicebox1489: later
Juicebox1489 signed off at 2:29:31 PM.

Over dose .:. 4 Pill's taken

Chaos fills the morning dew... [03 Apr 2004|02:07am]
[ mood | envious ]

Tonight Is Friday, And right now everyone is out to get you.Police, FUCK them. We live here not over there dumbass. Way over your head. OOOO, What Will occur tomorrow. Damn, no motherfucking men in uniforms are walking into my domain. They can converse with me on their goverment fucking property, The fucking sidewalk that is. We arent Bad kids. We arent great kids. We Dont break the law. We dont hide anyone, anything in here. WE live by the rules of Friendship. You need help, you fucking call me. You need a place to stay, I have a nice bed. You need fucking money, Rob a bank, You all fucking know I am not any Fucking Millionare. But anything LOGICAL call me. Whatever is in REALITY and is ETHNICAL you can count on me. We run our lives by the way we see the world. If your in trouble we will help you see.If you cant run we will fucking carry your ass, hide you whatever you may need. Friends. Friendship, thats what I call it. TRUE FRIENDSHIP!! The rules of Life. The rules I fucking live by. Im sorry but If "they" lied to me, I would be pissed aswell. I would of collapsed. I would of fucking died inside with all the fucking anger I had out there on my god damn sleeve. Im sorry but there is no Sorry's on this topic. I say fuck it, Fuck you and FUCK THIS. Would it have been better if "you" stayed here for tonight? And left tomorrow morning. I know it was right to call "them" but was it? Rightousness? What really is that? " The fucking Path of Rightousness" Fuck that shit. There is nothing in this world that is morally correct. If there is, anything in this world that can be out done with the so called "right way" You fucking get back to me on it. And now In my life, with my past occurances, the Present experiances, I say fuck it, The right way is always the Wrong way, and the wrong way is somewhat the right way? Does that make any sence to any one of you people? If not, fuck it, live life to the fullest. And rememeber Run Run, As fast as you can, you cant catch us, we are the fucking youth of the nation. A-ha thought I'd be a funny motherfucker and say the fucking Ginger bread man theme song, but the thing is nothing is no longer funny in this day of age. If nothing in this entry makes any sence to you or any one else, Im sorry and I know what happened... I know what happenes, I know what was going to occur on this fine fine morning. I know what Im trying to get past with these words. I am Sam and all I need was something to do, I needed to write something, anything, some of my pointless, non-excistant theoris on life and love, (the right ways) and all that shit. Im Sam. Im a loser I have a major headache so fuck off. And good-Morning..


P.s.-Wisdom of the morning: Rememeber You always live acorss the street and down a few houses. And Sometimes you just have to walk in that big extra circle to get by...

Over dose .:.

Vanilla Sex [02 Apr 2004|07:49pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

1. name:Sam
2. single or taken: taken
3. sex: Im a Lady
4. birthday: 05-23
6. siblings: 2 brothers and a sister
7. hair color: at the moment...Black,red,purple and Pink
8. eye color: at the moment Green
9. shoe size: 6-7
10. height: 5'2

r e l a t i o n s h i p s

1. who is your best friend(s)?: Arie Obrecht
2. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yea

f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop: noir leather and can I shop at a coffee place? Hmm I can shop for umm coffee? Right? Ahh fuck next....
2. any tattoos or piercings: 8 piercings

s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: no
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?:Umm Who washes their hair? Come on who does that?
3. what are you most scared of?: being alone, and burning to death
5. who is the last person that called you?: Sean
6. where do you want to get married?:Marrige? Who does that? The divorce percentage is 90%, fuck being 10%...
7. how many buddies are online right now?: that's a stupid question
8. what would you change about yourself?: Lots of things..everything but my Smile

f a v o r i t e s
1. color: i like yellow?I like Red its nice
2. food: I like food yeah...
3. boys names: Seth and Marty
4. girls names: Wensday and Ryan
5. subjects in school: English/Art
6. animals:Squirlle's
7. sports: Softball

h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given anyone a bath?: Do kids count??
2. smoked?: Yes
3. bungee jumped?: I would like too
4. made yourself throw up?: No
5. skinny dipped?: hahaha
6: ever been in love?: yea
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Nope I dont cry
8. pictured your crush naked?: Maybe...
9. actually seen your crush naked?: no
10. cried when someone died?: no
11. lied: all the time
12. fallen for your best friend?: sadly but true
13. been rejected?: Not really, is that bad?
14. rejected someone?:Umm all the time
15. used someone?: No, but I am used..Arielle!!
16. done something you regret?: of course

c u r r e n t
clothes: Red and black pin-stripe short/pants, velvet jacket,emily shirt,doc Mart.
hair: straight,down..black,red,pink,purple
music: Nothing?
make-up: yes...the shit i wore yesterday, I didnt take a shower or bother taking it off.
annoyance: when people fuck with other peoples mind
smell: Stacey, she smells good
favorite group: I couldnt choose
desktop picture:Some goth chick
book youre reading: Wicca
in cd player: Murderdolls
in dvd player: Party Monster
color of toenails: black

l a s t | p e r s o n
you touched: Arielle..Oh how much I love her
hugged: Willie
you imed: Magan
you yelled at:My mom
you kissed: Bobby

a r e | y o u
understanding: yes
open-minded: yes
arrogant: I can be, but not often
insecure: Sometimes
interesting: Am I?
random: yes
hungry: Sometimes...Ha always
smart: Yes
moody:sometimes
hard working: Fuck that
organized: depends
healthy: Whats that?
shy: Are You serisous? ::;Hand gesture::
difficult: yes...all the time
attractive: My mom says I am..but hey who knows?? Get back to me on it...
bored easily: no way
messy: of course
obsessed: oh yes

R A N D O M
In the morning i am: so tiered, when Arie jumps on me and tells me green monsters are eating my legs, Crack head?? Hmm ask her?
all i need is: Love
love is: easy to hate and easy to obsess
i dream about:sex...all the time...Im almost 15..ahh what now?

o p p o s i t e s e x
what do you notice first: eyes
last person you slow danced with:Bobby and I sway
worst question to ask: Wanna fuck? Do I look fat??(<--Always)
who do you have a crush on: Bobby
who has a crush on you: Willie, Mitch did, Arielle,Pipe I think, and I dont know You tell me

d o y o u e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: no
wish you were a member of the opposite sex?:Weird..
wish you were younger: never
cried because someone said something to you?: Never

n u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: twice
of hearts i have broken:Alot
of girls ive kissed: 3
of continents i have lived in: 1
of tight friends:3.5?
good friends: too many
of cds i own: who counts that....
of scars on my body:IArielles the scar Im a wound...

F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like fillings these out?: sure
2. gold or silver: silver
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: dawn of the dead
7. favorite cartoon/anime?: scooby doo....ekk Arie and I love that show
8. what did you have for breakfast this morning?:Grapefruit juice and Dr.Pepper..Not mixed ehhh
10. who would you love being locked in a room with right now?:hehehe Bobby, that could be intresting..
11. could you live without your computer? of course
12. would you color your hair? well I think so
13. could you ever get off the computer?: yeah
14. habla espanol? Si Si
15. how many people are on your buddy list?: 131
16. drink alcohol? I used to..NOW Im a good kid

Over dose .:.

Fun times On Sams Bed [02 Apr 2004|07:39pm]
[ mood | curious ]

http://seancorp.com/pics/digicam/2004-04-01/crunched/100_2134.jpg

Over dose .:.

I couldnt say it better my self..... [23 Mar 2004|04:51pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Well if it wasnt for the insights of my boyfriend, then there wouldn't be great, inspiration, comments and moments like these.... And here it is....

Comment on-Bobby's journal...........
(Anonymous)
2004-03-23 07:53 (link)
1. You don't EVER call ANYONE an idiot under the circumstances that happened this past weekend.
2. Buying T-Shirts isn't a way to grieve, its a way to remember.
3. What happened at school WAS grief, and you'd better believe that, or did you not see the crowd in front of his locker, or all the TRULY hurt people, everyone deals with death differently and I can't believe you can sit there and call people idiots for THEIR way of handling things, last time I checked you don't get to decided other peoples emotions for them.
4."Life is too fragile to be promoting grief" -- agreed, but grief is a part of life and wheather or not its promoted, its still gonna be there
5. Now I was at school yesterday dealing with MY grief, and everyone of the staff and administration DID focus on REMEMBERING Justin, not one of them walked around saying, well hes gone and hes never gonna be with us again. In fact, I spent 90% of my day remembering Justin and the joy he brought into my own life in such a short time, but you know something, the tears flowed either way, remembering the things he did was happy AND sad at the same time, because he isn't with us anymore and many of us miss him and still want him to be.

So please stop dictating to others on how we should feel about this.



Anyways,
I still Love him!!


So tastefully said.

Anarchism, then really stands for the liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion; the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property; liberation from the shackles and restraint of government. Anarchism stands for social order based on the free grouping of individuals for the purpose of producing real social wealth, an order that will guarantee to every human being free access to the earth and full enjoyment of the necessities of life, according to individual desires, tastes, and inclinations.
-Matt

[I love your insights... I like it!!! So ha..I dont know..fuck it (ME) <-- Crack addict!!]

Over dose .:. 2 Pill's taken

Hehe [21 Mar 2004|06:58pm]
[ mood | curious ]




Ha its me

Over dose .:. 4 Pill's taken

I sware it's like shopping......... [21 Mar 2004|06:45pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Mitch,Matt, and Seano we are all over Arielles. We are getting clothes thron at me. it was fun. wait its still fun. Later for now...


I miss HIM

Over dose .:.

[20 Mar 2004|05:26pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

How do you punch a tree??

Over dose .:. 2 Pill's taken

I'm such a Moron... [20 Mar 2004|04:57pm]
[ mood | cold ]

We went to go surpirse matt at his work. Was he there? NO, we couldnt find him, we finally found him the 2nd time we arrived at his house. Damn Matthew hes a hard fucker to locate. We chased some silver neon, I think it was, and got pulled over by the copes. Arielle and I had to put our seat belts on real quick, he let us off. Because we are Good kids??? Hmm I dont know. Anyways, we say Fish and Donny. Arielle and I were going to make out for Donny because he wanted us to for him last night, but I walked away because we had to leave. I couldnt bare the coldness of my toes. Well it was intresting. Now we are back here at Seano's. But we have Matt now. And I wonder if Bobby will call me tonight? Hmm....


I wrote more in my last entry...this is just another one of todays fine adventures....

Over dose .:. 1 Pill's taken

Is death a curse within the walls of Lake Shore?? [20 Mar 2004|02:00pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

Oh man, I cant believe Justin Maz. Died. He was so awesome. I was friends with him. But not extremly close. I knew who he was.Everyone knew who he was. Lake shore was all about that kid. Heart failure that totally sucks ass. How can the cpt. of the football team, and the basketball team plus a kick ass baseball player, Have a heart failure at the age of 17. Its too sad. Its to bizzar!! he was great. Plus, Poor Brett hes going to be a reck. I miss him. he was nice to everyone. Brett will be so totally non-complete. The death of this older brother. Come on, thats not something to laugh about. I mean, Sympathy isnt the sweetest thing in the world. But in this case its just not enough. With our tears he wont come back. But if only "the one" would give him another chance. things would be a whole lot better I miss brett. We used to be really-really good friend. Close. But, now I can just see his face. Justin was his role-modle. Justin was alot of people's role modle. He was the teenagers american dream. They wanted to be him. Popular, attractive, good grades, Nice, Sweet, Intelligent, A great athlete. Its just so sad. My heart goes out to Brett and the rest of the Mazmanian family. Im sorry and I hope you get through this. And we will all miss him. I wonder how school's going to be on Monday.


Anyways, To comeplete my thoughts..

Last night Arielle,Matt,Bobby and Seano. We went to the bon fire. Mike collapsed and fell face first in the mud. and was laying there for quite a while. he got up and well stumbled off. It was amazing. Barker had to put his 2 cents in. In the fire that is. Barker..Barker...Barker.... He had to show everyone that he's cool, and he can jump, and walk through fire, and then to add to it. fall in the fire and get caught on copper wireing from the past spring couches. Yeah that was an intresting occurance. Alcohol filled teenagers are fun fun fun. Fish was there. Madalyn was there, Ryann was there. It was fun. Highlight of the night.. Alexis's boobs. I saw them. yes I did. They were nice and perky. Lol. I saw Crystal's boobs as well. it was nice. I was happy. I giggled. And..Arielle and I made out, alot. It was fun. Pictures later...

The Distiller's concert is next friday. We are going to a play on Tuesday. I cant spell it, but its going to be nice.We are watching John Carpentar's-Ghost of Mars. Ziedel or whatever told me to rent it. he said I'd like it. It better be nice. Or Im going to kill someone. Fuck this. Arielle and I look hot today. Oh man, we are both in skirts and stuff. it scares me. but whatever. Im done...

Anyways, Arielle and I can no believe that J.M. Died. I mean oh man, this day will not be the same. and I hope you feel something for this terrible occurance on a random teen.


I miss him.
I love Bobby.

Over dose .:. 3 Pill's taken

My October........ [14 Mar 2004|02:09am]
[ mood | envious ]

Im really getting pissed off on all the shit people are saying about me and my past. Everyone thinks that I am still in love with Dave. Im in love with Dave. Yeah right!! Dave hurt me. I'm done. Im in love with Bobby now. Dave is in my past and I do not want speak about him, or well speak of the our whole "situation". Stace thinks I am. All my friends do. even my fucking mother thinks im in love with the fucker of my october. but whatever. I dont give a shit what they say most of the time. But lately its really pissing me off. I mean how can I get over someone while everyone is getting me onto him? Or how can I get over Dave while people are telling me I still have a feeling for him. Dave will always be my friend. I cant hate him that much. I cant say that I was all so faithful while with the kid. But Im not saying that i cheated either. its just you had to be there. and the thing is FUCK EVERYONE who thinks I am so deep in feeling with Dave that Im still in "love" as we call it. I mean come on, how can I be in love with Dave while I speak so horribly about him. How hes a dick, and people(not mentioning names) run their lives by the mere views and verdicts of Dave. I mean come on. If someone always wants to judge you, or he/she intimadates you with their presence. why look to them for their judgement. Why get all caught up in the insane world of "followers"? Does that make any sence? Anyways. How can I actually want to keep a relationship? Im trying to keep my present relationship on the high scale. I mean come on, How can I do this if everyone is all still with the past. And while they talk about them, it gets me thinking, and thinking gets me depressed. And right now in my life there nothing for me to be depressed about. I have a kick ass boyfriend, who CARES about me, dosent judge me, he dosent intimadate me, I love him. and I have a Hardcore Bestfriend Arielle, shes aweosme. I love her more than life it self. But I havent had a really sucessful relationship in a while and I really want this one to work. I like the kid. Can u believe it after well more than 2 weeks? I like him and that is all. Dave is gone, so long, bye bye.Fuck cant we just talk about Bobby now, and how he makes me smile, and feel as if im actually meaning something to him, im important in his life, I am wanted, not just there for the mere label of "girlfriend" or "my other half". I love it. and He dosent see me as just a Piece of Ass. Im Sam. and Hes fine with that. God damn, I am so done.



FUCK!!!

Over dose .:. 16 Pill's taken

The truth finally comes out... [13 Mar 2004|11:37pm]
[ mood | loved ]

bisexual



I'll be damned. You ARE bisexual AFTER all!


You sees "31 Flavors" as the ideal place to work.

You can get unequivocally turned on by eating Cheese 'n Crackers -

taking the little sticks from the wrapper and sliding them into the cheese.

You are definitely a sexual glutton, taking as much as you can ;)



Are *You* Bisexual? Click Here to Find Out!

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always horny



You Are Always Horny


You are naughty, and your mind is almost always in the gutter.


When you get horny, you want it fast! You're not into wasting your time playing hard to get.


Whether you've got a willing partner or not, you are going to give yourself a blast of a time.


You aren't like most girls.


You like porno, you are forward, and you are willing to experiment with both guys and girls.


You are a rare breed. It isn't just your sex drive - it's your open mind as well.


It's hard to being a horny girl in this world, but you handle yourself well!



How Horny Are You?

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lip piercing



You Are A Lip Piercing


In your face punk, and borderline angsty.

You wouldn't be caught dead at a corporate job.

But you can be found at Tower Records.

You rate your friends by how hardcore their piercings and tattoos are.



What Piercing Are *You*?

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(sweet Thats why I got it..Im so smart)


asphyxiation



Your Freaky Fetish Is Asphyxiation!


Definition: having your breathing deprived

In this case for heightened orgasm

Usually done alone, but sometimes with a partner

Bottom line - you're one kinky mofo!!



What's Your Freaky Fetish?

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( I like duct tape)


angry sexy



You Are Angry Sexy!


You're pissed off… and it's totally f-ing hot!

Your sneer is your own personal "come hither" look…

And surprisingly, it lures men over to your dungeon of love.

You scare most men off - but attract the right ones (those who want punishment)



What Kind of Sexy Are *You*?

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so true-so true
Over dose .:. 4 Pill's taken

There's no diffrence between Tear drops and rain..... [13 Mar 2004|10:59pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

Bobby Showed up at around 6ish. sort of. I dont know. It was close. We watched Gilligan's island with Jordan. 6 long episodes. Oh man, Skipper is a fag. Who goes on a 3 hour tour with their whole god damn wordrobe? Come on? It's so unrealalistic. I mean its stupid times ten. But whatever. The theme song got me going to excitment. We called my mom, that was intresting. My Moms comming over tomorrow for Jordan's Party. Bobby might show up. Bobby and I made cookies. I MADE THEM!! he just wacthed and he thought he made them but actually I did so therefor I win. But whatever. he will tell you otherwise. but hey shh Hes wrong. I WIN. We watched murderdolls. Slept on the floor. Well I tried to sleep. He had the couch I had the floor. He tried doing my homework. Bobby and I sat there on the couch for an hour or so, alone, lol in the dark talking (like we are on crack with the shit we say) " Hmm, I wonder what it would be like with no feet?" lol I love myself. Im my own party.Then Jordan came down, and we sat there all three of us and making sounds and singing into his recorder. It was funny as hell. We are all on Crack. Then Bobby and i went into the kitchen and "cleaned", then went up stairs, "cleaned" and then Arielle, Stace and Eric came home. That was intresting.Come on we waited. Ha.Then we started making cookies. I was so hot today. I mean temp. wise lol. I was so hot. I had to open the sliding door. It was nice. Dan, Tom and Matt are comming over tonight. Sweet. I may be sleeping. Even though Bobby just left I miss him. Is that weird? I mean come on? Hes been gone for who knows? 10-15 mins? God! Wait god has nothing to do with this. Anyways. I miss him, he may come over tomorrow. I dont know. I will see. If he shows up then he does if not then more Cake? for me! Have fun and have a great night. I know I did.

I love him.....

Over dose .:. 1 Pill's taken

I believed in your confussion, so complety torn.... [13 Mar 2004|12:30pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Today is Saturday....
I will be expecting Bobby around the Obrecht residence around 6ish. He said he may be getting off of work around 5:20 so I think 6ish is pretty relevant? Am I right? Anyways, Bobby and I will be wacthing Jordan, While Stace and Arielle are at the Broadway again tonight, there at Lake Shore. I was playing in Lake shore. It's so small. I totally forgot how small it is.But whatever. I like the holes in the walls. I mean come on, CLIMBING!! Ahh fun. If only we had holy walls in our school. But whatever. I have staris. Ha. lol. Who cares. Anyways, Jordan wants to watch Giligan's (sp) Island, Sweet! Bobby and I will have a great Saturday night, I mean come on, Giligan (sp) oh man, I cant wait. Stace if grocery shopping with Gma. Getting Jordan some Pizza rolls. I was watching Recess. But then tis over n and well I came up here. Slept while Arielle was on here, Then I straightened my hair, looked in the mirror and hated the way I looked. But whatever, No ones comming over. EXCEPT my boyfriend!! People like my new hair do. I went up to Cooper and was like "hey cooper I got my Her Did" and I laughed/ And he started talking to me in all this weird slang shit. It was funny. I just shook my head and kept saying Aight! I laughed, very much so. Jordan is playing the drums. Hes getting farely good. Thanks to Bobby. Bobby is good at everything. I mean come on, Bass, Guitar,drums, whatever. I can tie my shoes so fuck it. I WIN! My head itches. I feel like shit. I made Arie and I mac and cheese for Breakfest. That was nice.Im such a great cook. Even though it tasted kind of funky. Lol. I want to go to Rpyal Oak. I miss it. Noir Leather, funky 7. Birght Ideas, White chocolate coolers, (my litte fucker) onezies. I love them. I want one for my little fucker. My mother and I had the sex talk yesterday. AGAIN. BEcause Sex comes up in all my conversations. We were talking about how im not going to have sex until im 35, (in her mind) but she knows im going to have sex sometime before then. I mean come on. I cant say anything really on the particular age range, because remember My father and step-lady reads this. SO I dont want anything or anyONE getting the wrong impression, or the wrong ideas on what i do with my life, naked or not, Anyways. It was intresting, My lip is never going to heal.I mean come on. Hello it has been like 4 weeks and a day. Thats a long ass time. Thats longer then I keep boyfriends for. But then theres Sir Bobby.... We have been going out since the end of January. Jan. 30th, because It was my borthers 10th birthday, What a magical day. Lol. I think it was that day. That would really suck ass if It was wrong. Ha anyways, its been a month and a half almost, RIGHT? i have no idea. Its fucking March,Oh man. Later



Have a great-Day!!
I hope you look pretty....

Over dose .:. 3 Pill's taken

sheep,sheep,sheep [12 Mar 2004|10:29pm]
[ mood | impressed ]

I just got back from Broadway. It was awesome. All my old friends singing and dancing. I love it and I love them. Bobby and Ian saw Jordan well said hi to him. It was intresting. But whatever. Tony says he loves me. thats great. Everyone was all SAM!!! OMG SAM!!! It was so funny. I love all this people...Oh by the way...Frankie's Hot!!! (hahaha)<--had to be there.


Later

Over dose .:. 4 Pill's taken

did you see our old dog MoE?? [12 Mar 2004|05:34pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Matt is a Nudest. He goes so Whispering oak's and well they are Naked. Hes all up in Nakie World. Ha funny funny funny. That Matthew he makes me smile. Picture Matt Naked playing tennis. Ha funny shit. I make my self laugh.... And he bought silk sheets for his bed. Ahh smooth. Just like the top of the above ground tomb at the grave. funny funny funny, I love it. Im my own party.
Matt the cutiest Nudiest..-Not my stacey!! Yeah anyways...


I am going to Broadway today. Ha funny. I get to see all my old friends dancing and singing around and being funny as fuck. I cant wait. Arielle will look so nice.


I get to see Bobby tomorrow. Bobby and I will be watching Jordan tomorrow when Stacey goes to boardway tomorrow. Thats going to be kick ass.

Mozart is Hot.. You know it!!

My eyes hurt.. Karens here,curling Arie's little hair. Yeah and now there's silence...okay now here we go...


Umm.... I just found out Jesse talks about me. I was talking about him Yesterday with Bobby, it was intreting. Yesterday was my fight day. Chaos was with everybody tis' very intresting...My head iches.


anyways.. I found out Jesse was talking about me today. How awesome. I cant wait to see this kid. I wonder the next time we will talk. Hmm I wonder.


I love everyone..

Bye bye

Over dose .:. 1 Pill's taken

Grapes and sped bells equal a great day!!! [06 Mar 2004|02:42pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Yesterday: Arielle went to Sean's,Dan picked me up, then we went to pick up Bobby, and then we went to the graveyard,played,hid and Sean almost ran me over, that was awesome. Skid marks in the graveyard. Then we all went to New York Now, and met up with Tyler. Dan some kid got jummped by some other kid, Josh Keshterson. And then we went to premier, some kid was looking as if he was nine and cigarettes fell out of his pockets, and im like ahh bad kid. hes like im 13, I'like wow, thats even better. Then we went to Burger King. PLayed with crayons, Sean and I had story time on the window out side.Then we went back for a ride, with sean was wow. Intresting. Tyler was being all nice to me and Bobby, After he says shit/ but that was cool. I bought Sean gas for his car. Then we went with Dan and we went to BrandenBurg park, right across the street from house, arielle had to pee and change so we stopped by. Tyler did a little thing in a can. Arie and I pole danced. We went out on the pier, almost fell in, we stripped, pretended to make out. I sat on top of arielle laying down on the bench. That was hot. I was laughing in her ear, and I was kissing her cheek. And we were straight purple, after we stripped. Then we took Tyler home, We went to Arielles to see her mommy. Then she took a picture of my looking like a nun on crack. That was fun. Said hi to jordan, arielle was attacking her mom with love. Then we took Bobby home, we swayed, I almost fell over, thanks Bobby.I admired Bobby's neignors big house. It was big. Then Dan took Arielle and I home. My curfew was 11:30, we got there at 11:25. Oh yeah, who's good. Thank's Dan. We are going to go pick up Matt. Bye bye!!

Go to Arielles for today's adventures...
I love Him
Anyways have pleasant dreams. My little light of mine, Im going to let it shine. (Matt Makes me laugh)

Over dose .:. 16 Pill's taken

Where is Val's head?? ? [29 Feb 2004|05:43pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Valentine is on my lap. It's Seano's Snake. I love it. I love it!! Arielle will update you on today's past events. It will inrigue you as well as disgust you. Alright-alright. I Miss Bobby. I called him today, And I wanted to talk longer but I just couldnt find those words. I coundt find the words to communicate with him. I couldnt find anything to talk tabout. But hey it was nice anyway. Bcause I love the way he treats me. I love Seano's snake. Val is a sexy mother fucker..I mean the snake, but hey Arielle's aunt is hot as well. Uh huh thats what i said.


Here I will start the biding at...

ColeSlaw...

Over dose .:. 2 Pill's taken

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